Because Repeating Yourself 100 Times Is Exhausting
Ah, parenting. That beautiful, messy, chaotic journey filled with laughter, tantrums, and the constant question: “Why am I repeating myself for the tenth time?” Cue First Time Obedience!
If you’ve ever felt like a broken record telling your kids to put on their shoes, get in the car, or stop licking the shopping cart, you’re not alone. That’s why in our FTO podcast episodes, we’re talking about first time obedience—what it is, why it matters, and why we started implementing it once we officially got outnumbered by our kids (Kid number 3 incase you are math challenged like me).
To sum it up with an overused buzzword: It’s been a game-changer.
What Is First Time Obedience?
Put simply, first time obedience (FTO) is training children to listen and respond the first time a command is given—without negotiations, stalling, or selective hearing.
And before you say, “Wow, that sounds a little extreme”, let’s take a moment to remember that this idea isn’t just something we made up out of desperation. It’s actually biblical:
• “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” — Colossians 3:20
• “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” — Ephesians 6:1
• “My son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.” — Proverbs 6:20
Turns out, God cares about obedience—not because He’s on a power trip, but because obedience leads to peace, order, and safety (both in our homes and in our walk with Him).
The Pros and Cons of First Time Obedience
So, does this whole FTO thing actually work? And is it worth the effort? Let’s break it down.
Pros:
Establishes a culture of peace and safety – No more chasing toddlers into parking lots while screaming, “STOP!!!” like a crazy person. They actually stop when you say it. Revolutionary.
Creates clear expectations – Kids thrive on consistency, and knowing that “when Mom and Dad say something, they mean it” eliminates so much unnecessary frustration.
Teaches respect for authority – If kids don’t learn to respect and obey parents, how will they learn to respect and obey God? It’s all connected.
Cons (or at least, common concerns):
“That sounds too militaristic.” – We get it. No one wants to raise little robots who follow commands without thinking. But FTO isn’t about squashing personality—it’s about creating a heart of obedience that extends beyond just rules.
“Won’t this repress my child’s feelings?” – Nope. Feelings are valid, but they don’t have to dictate behavior. Kids can feel frustrated, but they can still obey with a respectful attitude. (A wild concept, I know.)
“Isn’t this too simplistic?” – Parenting is anything but simple, but obedience itself can be. Consistency + clear expectations = results.
First Time Obedience– Not the final frontier, rather the first!
We don’t want our relationships to just stop at obedience, but instead we want to start with it. Our relationships with our children will grow and mature as they do. Our kids love to tease us and joke with us in seeming “disobedience” b/c we’ve developed a dynamic and mature relationship now that most of them are teens. However, we’ve set boundaries from FTO that now afford us a little wiggle room as they move into adulthood and autonomy. We’d never expect our adult children to obey us like they are still 5 year olds, instead we want them to have a healthy respect for us while making their own decisions. Autonomy is the goal, but you can’t start with that.
Real-Life Stories: When Obedience Actually Paid Off
We’ve had our fair share of moments where first time obedience has really come in clutch. Listen to our FTO podcast episode for stories such as
• The Diaper Incident – you’ll just have to listen…
• Ezra in Ireland – That time obedience meant the difference between fun and total chaos in a foreign country.
• The Elephant Story in South Africa – Sometimes, authority isn’t just about following directions—it’s literally about survival.
• Strangers Stopping Us in Public – 6 behaved kids in public can be quite noticeable.
And one of the biggest moments? When our son Ethan thanked us for teaching him first time obedience. That’s when we knew—this isn’t just about making our lives easier. It’s about shaping their character for the long haul.
Why First Time Obedience Matters Spiritually
At the end of the day, obedience isn’t just about making parenting smoother—it’s about showing our kids what it means to follow God.
In The Men We Need by Brant Hansen, he talks about how God, as our ultimate Father, disciplines us not out of anger, but out of love and a desire for our good. He wants us to obey not because He’s power-hungry, but because He knows that’s where true peace and blessing come from.
We want our kids to understand that same truth:
• Obedience to God isn’t about rules—it’s about love.
• Following God isn’t about control—it’s about trust.
• When God calls us to obey, it’s for our good, not His convenience.
Final First Time Obedience Thoughts
So, is first time obedience worth it? 100% yes.
Does it take effort? Oh, absolutely.
Does it mean you’ll never have to remind your kids to put on their shoes again? Let’s not get carried away.
But training our children in obedience—starting in the home—lays the foundation for them to trust and follow God later in life. And if that means fewer public meltdowns in the grocery store, well, that’s just an added bonus.
Note: The Site may contain links to affiliate websites, and we receive an affiliate commission for any purchases made by you on the affiliate website using such links